[ because people are dying. because he can't protect his own. because it's just not enough. ]
Being loud doesn't count when you're wrong.
[ the words don't come out petulant, really, but... it's definitely something he's feeling like is true. i'm not as smart as you guys - a theory that has proven itself reasonably true every week.
there's a pause, here, and he curls his hands into loose fists, again, staring down at his scarred over knuckles. ]
...I said something to Kon the other day, that I shouldn't have. And Iris - that too. I don't...I don't want to hurt people and I keep fucking that up, too.
[ at least it's only emotional hurt and not like MURDER HURT but you know. hurting other people on accident is something he's actively tried so hard not to do, but here, it feels like he's regressing back to when he couldn't afford to care. cause the least possible damage, maybe, but always, always cause some. ]
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Being loud doesn't count when you're wrong.
[ the words don't come out petulant, really, but... it's definitely something he's feeling like is true. i'm not as smart as you guys - a theory that has proven itself reasonably true every week.
there's a pause, here, and he curls his hands into loose fists, again, staring down at his scarred over knuckles. ]
...I said something to Kon the other day, that I shouldn't have. And Iris - that too. I don't...I don't want to hurt people and I keep fucking that up, too.
[ at least it's only emotional hurt and not like MURDER HURT but you know. hurting other people on accident is something he's actively tried so hard not to do, but here, it feels like he's regressing back to when he couldn't afford to care. cause the least possible damage, maybe, but always, always cause some. ]