She should've. [she just switches to petting his hair. she's trying not to smile, because she knows that's rude.] I'm sorry, man, that's not fair to you.
[ she can smile it's okay. he's! having a bad time but it's not like a bad time like last week so there's that i guess. ]
... She told me she - I thought she...
[ this hurts. a lot? it hurts a lot. romance fucking sucks! he decides!! fuck this!!!! the world is correct and balanced because i will leave this game unsmooched ] I'm such a fucking idiot.
[alright, alright, come here. she tugs at him so she can hug him.]
You're not a fucking idiot, stop that. [she rests her chin on his shoulder.] You're too good for Iris anyway. You're gonna find someone you really like back home, and it's gonna be great.
[ he will allow this yes. he just kind of drapes over her and hugs her back.
... a little morosely like a sad eeyore ] All the women at home want to kill all the men and the last dude I kind of dated is the scum of the fucking earth.
[ muffled: ] 'm nineteen. You're like two years older than me.
[ there's no heat or anything to it, at least. weh. he huffs a little. it's not like ichiro is particularly romance minded - his focus has always been his brothers. really, he will probably just be a single kind of parent forever and he's probably okay with that.
what do people usually do like this, get drunk? ] Fuck this week. [ it's only monday? yea ]
also wow beau is being responsible? proud of her. he will probably die if he attempts to play ddr right now because he is still very injured, but, the thought does count. ichiro jerks a little at the pinch, and then pulls away, reaching up to rub his eyes with his forearm. ]
.... I guess she didn't try to kill my brothers in the process, so this is an improvement from the last time I got dumped.
[ ichiro has bad taste is really the best way to summarize that one
also there's a petty crow just has to look JUST like samatoki too doesn't he but he wrinkles his nose at his own thought process and doesn't move away from beau, letting her lean on him. ]
With - that stuff. Nothing else. Everything else here's fucking terrible.
... we didn't kiss or anything like that. Saturday, I thought - maybe, I thought it might, but. I know she's got all those issues, and I wasn't pushing. I managed to make her really, really happy about something, and - [ and he still gets a little flutter from it, but it hurts. ] - that was enough for me, you know?
...she told me about Crow today, though, and... I could hear all of her thoughts. You can probably guess how it ended up.
...I just wish I knew. I would've - I would've done something. Backed off, or something. I didn't wanna make it worse. [ ugh.
he drops his head down on beau's shoulder. mff. ] I'm only gonna date 2D for the rest of my life by choice.
[it's that type of older sibling huff. exasperated, but - she cares.]
Look. You were being a gentleman. [she takes his hand.] Nothing wrong with that. You didn't make anything worse, and look, if she's had a thing for him for weeks, she fuckin' led you on, and that's not cool. Not like you were exactly subtle about your crush.
[she squeezes his hand.]
It sucks now, and I'm sorry, but don't just give up on love entirely because an emotionally unavailable girl knocked you on your ass, man.
[ a little noise of complaint, but, yeah. it's... messy. he knew it was messy, even iris told him it was messy. she probably didn't have a thing for crow until now. (which? he's dead? so???? but he cannot begin to understand how her head works when it comes to this kind of stuff.)
he lets beau take his hand without any fuss, and - yeah, he's probably just sulking a little. it's been a shitty day. ]
... I think I've got really shitty taste. [ ichiro mutters. he actually knows he has really shitty taste, there is no i think, that's okay. but. he sighs. ] ...thanks, Beau.
They're allowed to go see the dead, you know. The Dorm Heads. Iris told me earlier. [a pause.] It's not a problem, man. Try to not let it bother you so much.
[ he. laughs a little at that, actually? its just a wet, hysterical snort, and he nods against her shoulder. yeah. yeah, he has really fucking bad taste. really fucking bad. that makes sense, but that also means - i've been crushing on iris right in front of him this whole time.
ugh ]
...'m gonna get Caleb-san to make me an animal too. [ also morosely, but he's maybe kidding a little bit, now. ]
[ worry, there, and pretty blatantly obvious. ] The thoughts thing, right? [ Caleb-san probably doesn't want the whole world picking in his head. poor guy. ] Is there anything we can do to help, you think...?
[ well - thoughts are benefitting right now, actually?
he scooches a little closer. she took his hand, earlier, so, he squeezes hers. ] Tell me. You just let me sulk about being dumped for like thirty minutes out of nowhere.
No. It's not a big deal. I'm worried about him and he won't let me be because he doesn't think he's worth it, and it's just a back and forth -- it's not. Your problem.
[ alright after everything with iris today he just - ]
Quit it. I care about you both so much, let me listen. Keep that shit inside and it's gonna bottle up and explode, trust me. [ why is everyone here so bad at talking about their problems? he thinks but it's not like, anything more than fondly exasperated and also kind of a self drag. he's really not that much better.
it's gently insistent but also just not taking no for an answer. please let me help you. ]
It's been stressing you both out, right? On top of all the rest of the bad shit that's been happening.
It's not anything anybody can fix. [she mutters. you can't fix anything. you just break them.] It's not stressing me out. I just - don't know how to deal with hearing him think about how much he hates himself.
[ be disgruntled! that is fine. he is just going to lean into her the best he can. the you can't fix anything makes his heart ache. ]
...yeah. Not something that can just be fixed. [ thinking back to his conversation earlier - all i ever do is make things worse - makes his frown darken even further, and he shakes his head. ] I dunno if there's a good way to deal with it at all, but it sucks. Like - you wanna do everything in your power to make them see themselves the way you see them.
[ i feel that way about you sometimes, too. beau has been so helpful to him, after all, instrumental in helping ichiro keep his shit together in their time here when it has been rapidly falling out of his hands all over the place. ] Just gotta be supportive in every way we can, you know? And sometimes that just means - giving people space, which sucks even worse. It's hard for me to watch that happen, too.
[she pulls her hand away - not rudely or roughly, just. she's fidgety. this is a lot of vulnerability she can't afford, can't stand most of the time. it's not easy. she picks at her knuckles, leg jittering, bouncing.]
I don't want to give him space. You give him space and he'll fucking run as far as he can and never come back. [can't let him, I know what he wants to do, I won't let him]
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She should've. [she just switches to petting his hair. she's trying not to smile, because she knows that's rude.] I'm sorry, man, that's not fair to you.
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... She told me she - I thought she...
[ this hurts. a lot? it hurts a lot. romance fucking sucks! he decides!! fuck this!!!! the world is correct and balanced because i will leave this game unsmooched ] I'm such a fucking idiot.
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You're not a fucking idiot, stop that. [she rests her chin on his shoulder.] You're too good for Iris anyway. You're gonna find someone you really like back home, and it's gonna be great.
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... a little morosely like a sad eeyore ] All the women at home want to kill all the men and the last dude I kind of dated is the scum of the fucking earth.
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[rubs his back!!] It's not the end of the world. Seriously, you deserve better, and you're like twelve, you have plenty of time to find someone else.
[she knows he's nineteen, she's teasing him.]
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[ there's no heat or anything to it, at least. weh. he huffs a little. it's not like ichiro is particularly romance minded - his focus has always been his brothers. really, he will probably just be a single kind of parent forever and he's probably okay with that.
what do people usually do like this, get drunk? ] Fuck this week. [ it's only monday? yea ]
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[she pinches him.] No moping, or I'll have to kick your ass at DDR.
[...] No drinking either. Which, wow. That's not a thing I thought I'd ever say, but.
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also wow beau is being responsible? proud of her. he will probably die if he attempts to play ddr right now because he is still very injured, but, the thought does count. ichiro jerks a little at the pinch, and then pulls away, reaching up to rub his eyes with his forearm. ]
.... I guess she didn't try to kill my brothers in the process, so this is an improvement from the last time I got dumped.
[ w. was that a joke? ]
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[STOP BEING INJURED
she shifts, settling against him even though he pulled away. a beat.]
The fuck. [What even is your world.]
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[ ichiro has bad taste is really the best way to summarize that one
also there's a petty crow just has to look JUST like samatoki too doesn't he but he wrinkles his nose at his own thought process and doesn't move away from beau, letting her lean on him. ]
... things were pretty good. Here.
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she squints up at him when he speaks, though.]
Were? [just a mental like ???]
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... we didn't kiss or anything like that. Saturday, I thought - maybe, I thought it might, but. I know she's got all those issues, and I wasn't pushing. I managed to make her really, really happy about something, and - [ and he still gets a little flutter from it, but it hurts. ] - that was enough for me, you know?
...she told me about Crow today, though, and... I could hear all of her thoughts. You can probably guess how it ended up.
...I just wish I knew. I would've - I would've done something. Backed off, or something. I didn't wanna make it worse. [ ugh.
he drops his head down on beau's shoulder. mff. ] I'm only gonna date 2D for the rest of my life by choice.
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[it's that type of older sibling huff. exasperated, but - she cares.]
Look. You were being a gentleman. [she takes his hand.] Nothing wrong with that. You didn't make anything worse, and look, if she's had a thing for him for weeks, she fuckin' led you on, and that's not cool. Not like you were exactly subtle about your crush.
[she squeezes his hand.]
It sucks now, and I'm sorry, but don't just give up on love entirely because an emotionally unavailable girl knocked you on your ass, man.
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[ a little noise of complaint, but, yeah. it's... messy. he knew it was messy, even iris told him it was messy. she probably didn't have a thing for crow until now. (which? he's dead? so???? but he cannot begin to understand how her head works when it comes to this kind of stuff.)
he lets beau take his hand without any fuss, and - yeah, he's probably just sulking a little. it's been a shitty day. ]
... I think I've got really shitty taste. [ ichiro mutters. he actually knows he has really shitty taste, there is no i think, that's okay. but. he sighs. ] ...thanks, Beau.
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[DON'T JUST AGREE]
They're allowed to go see the dead, you know. The Dorm Heads. Iris told me earlier. [a pause.] It's not a problem, man. Try to not let it bother you so much.
[Been there. It always happens.]
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ugh ]
...'m gonna get Caleb-san to make me an animal too. [ also morosely, but he's maybe kidding a little bit, now. ]
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It's nice to be an animal for a bit. [I can't ask again.] Just as long as it's not on Thursday, I bet he wouldn't mind, but uh - just.
Just be prepared for him to not be happy. [Understatement.] This week's fucking with him.
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[ worry, there, and pretty blatantly obvious. ] The thoughts thing, right? [ Caleb-san probably doesn't want the whole world picking in his head. poor guy. ] Is there anything we can do to help, you think...?
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[Don't think about it don't think about it don't make it about you]
It's not something that can be fixed.
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[ well - thoughts are benefitting right now, actually?
he scooches a little closer. she took his hand, earlier, so, he squeezes hers. ] Tell me. You just let me sulk about being dumped for like thirty minutes out of nowhere.
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No. It's not a big deal. I'm worried about him and he won't let me be because he doesn't think he's worth it, and it's just a back and forth -- it's not. Your problem.
[she's like, thinking about dogs. stubbornly.]
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Quit it. I care about you both so much, let me listen. Keep that shit inside and it's gonna bottle up and explode, trust me. [ why is everyone here so bad at talking about their problems? he thinks but it's not like, anything more than fondly exasperated and also kind of a self drag. he's really not that much better.
it's gently insistent but also just not taking no for an answer. please let me help you. ]
It's been stressing you both out, right? On top of all the rest of the bad shit that's been happening.
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It's not anything anybody can fix. [she mutters. you can't fix anything. you just break them.] It's not stressing me out. I just - don't know how to deal with hearing him think about how much he hates himself.
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...yeah. Not something that can just be fixed. [ thinking back to his conversation earlier - all i ever do is make things worse - makes his frown darken even further, and he shakes his head. ] I dunno if there's a good way to deal with it at all, but it sucks. Like - you wanna do everything in your power to make them see themselves the way you see them.
[ i feel that way about you sometimes, too. beau has been so helpful to him, after all, instrumental in helping ichiro keep his shit together in their time here when it has been rapidly falling out of his hands all over the place. ] Just gotta be supportive in every way we can, you know? And sometimes that just means - giving people space, which sucks even worse. It's hard for me to watch that happen, too.
Did you guys argue about it?
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I don't want to give him space. You give him space and he'll fucking run as far as he can and never come back. [can't let him, I know what he wants to do, I won't let him]
... Yeah. We argued. We do that a lot, though.
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